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    "The Comedy Album" is the 13th and most epic Kleenex Girl Wonder record.

    26 songs, covering a variety of genres, styles, and production methods, written and recorded over the course of two years, and now available on two slabs of strikingly coloured vinyl (some 'Comedy Blue,' some 'Bazooka Joke Pink').

    Featuring guest production from Max Tundra, Saskrotch, and The Hood Internet, plus the usual suspects of Graham Smith, Matt LeMay and Thayer McClanahan.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Poor Thing!, Losel Vila, Let it buffer. Forever, BLP, Ponyoak 20th Anniversary Edition, Past Blasts, cocolopez, White Lacuna, and 17 more. , and , .

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I saved the best for last.
Now I'm in a full-body cast,
singing “la la ha ha ha u mad!”
That'll teach you losers to lollygag!
Oh, it hurts sometimes, but not too bad.
It works sometimes, but not like that.

Sold it all for a wedding band.
Ended up in a wedding band,
playing tabs with a hard-on and a heavy hand.
Oh, I wish you hadn't met me when you met me, man!
I wish a million things had never really happened that have.
I guess I'd rather be slow poisoned than be stabbed in the back.

You laugh - ha ha ha!
Do the math - ha!
Maybe you just don't know how to add.
Get back to the basics:
there's a time and place for
a race to the grave, but
you're too scared to be afraid.
It's a trap!
Ha ha ha!

Played a prank in a hockey mask.
Now I'm at the bank in a body bag
and I hope you get this message and call me back.
I was listening to Zomby and I'm awfully sad,
and I been missing everything I always thought we had,
and I been listing every single overwrought demand one could have!

I could have been a bureaucrat.
Now I'm singing barbershop in laundromats,
and I think of the past and it's all just black.
‘Til I drink a Labatts and it all comes back.
It is what it is. It's as simple as that.
We did what we did, someday we're gonna laugh –

“ha ha ha!”
Remember how you'd react –
Ha! Yeah, like I was under attack!
Ha! Years of lucid nightmares compacted like trash
'til they blew up in Times Square when a camera flashed –

Two flags, one checkered, one red.
Two mouths in a bed, one puckered,
one stretched.
One shepherd unconcerned with any consequences;
one elephant it's impossible not to mention.
One twisted inflection can break the surface tension;
one kiss obliterates all nagging apprehension.

Two rounds to the death, too proud to forget.
2 Chainz around your neck, two brains up in your head.
Two states: unenlightened and overexcited.
Too late: it's right behind me
and I'm holding my breath.
Time was I'd murder crowds on total autopilot, but
my buzz is dying down; I'm met with utter silence.


from The Comedy Album, released October 28, 2016


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Kleenex Girl Wonder New York, New York

A prolific songwriter, a cracking tight independent indie rock band for live entertainment, and a fine art parody magazine about what computers think about human thoughts about their fine art

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