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Thanks​!​.​.​. For the Emotional Disease

from Thanks​!​.​.​. for the Emotional Disease (free download) by Kleenex Girl Wonder

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This track, while not technically written before ALL of the other songs on Secret Thinking, can be thought of as the first song written in the Secret Thinking era.

It started in March 2008 during a fight. It felt like once you've been in a problematic relationship, those problems follow you wherever you go. Note: I am not sure if this is scientifically true.

Most of the rest of the song was written on a train platform in Amsterdam, during the week that "Secret Thinking" as an album came into being.

Then I wrote the second verse in a popular skateboarding location near my home.

The final run, which is one of my favorite ever, was written at my brother's house in Harrisburg, PA, in which he no longer lives.

Please note that writing this song involved two searches to find the best rhyme for a line.

One of these searches led to the purchase of a genuine pair of Boeing-branded sunglasses, which a lens pops out of occasionally, but which still offer some comfort from the dull, oppressive sun.


Crazy is a disease;
It passed from you into me
And now it flows in a continuous stream.

I need a little release
To feel a bit of relief but
I can’t let go–literally,

I hold on too long
To foregone conclusions.
So if you’re wrong, I’m right
Let’s move on.
Why fight?

Because you’re wrong,
And there’s a price to be paid
Plus there’s a war on;
It’s only right to get laid.

So this can go on record
As a minor mistake
And a couple of Botox sessions
Will wipe the lines from your face.
But please

No more questions
Or forced confessions
Or Russian Roulette
With cold war weapons.

I guess I thought
You had learned your lesson
But I’m always wrong, so
No more guessin’.

Ahh! Life is a bag of chessmen,
And each one’ll get to you
If you let them.
Ahh! Ahh! This part is the best–
When he carves in his chest
With a blunt Sheaffer Crest pen:




But you cruise through
In the 2-door with the 22’s
And the humidor in the dashboard.
Let loose the gas pedal,
Fast forward to the past.
Get a handle on yourself, you brat.
The long way home is
A lonely path.

So I hope you have
A rote rehash
Of a thought-provoking quote
From a grocery bag.
Or a rope, and a gag,
And a goalie mask
And I only ask for
What you owe in
Back emotional blackmail withholding taxes
In cold hard cash,
And my Boeing glasses.
Thanks for the flashes of Mozart madness
And the Ozark folk art
And soul dispassion.

Oh! I’ll get you back...

O.K., I got you, thanks!


from Thanks​!​.​.​. for the Emotional Disease (free download), released February 15, 2011
Matt LeMay, Thayer McClanahan, Graham Smith, Ryan Smith


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Kleenex Girl Wonder New York, New York

A prolific songwriter, a cracking tight independent indie rock band for live entertainment, and a fine art parody magazine about what computers think about human thoughts about their fine art

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