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Inhale a D​.​J.

from The Comedy Album by Kleenex Girl Wonder

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    "The Comedy Album" is the 13th and most epic Kleenex Girl Wonder record.

    26 songs, covering a variety of genres, styles, and production methods, written and recorded over the course of two years, and now available on two slabs of strikingly coloured vinyl (some 'Comedy Blue,' some 'Bazooka Joke Pink').

    Featuring guest production from Max Tundra, Saskrotch, and The Hood Internet, plus the usual suspects of Graham Smith, Matt LeMay and Thayer McClanahan.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Poor Thing!, Losel Vila, Let it buffer. Forever, BLP, Ponyoak 20th Anniversary Edition, Past Blasts, cocolopez, White Lacuna, and 17 more. , and , .

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lyrics

Whaddya know about bloodshed?
Never even gotten your thumbs red.
Never admit when you're upset,
just suppress.
Let none suggest you're not
crushing it!

But that's bullshit!
All these balloons are full of it.
All these buffoons are well-equipped
to inhale a dick for all I care
and I don't care one bit.

But once bitten, twice shy.
Listen to some Great White
and you'll understand why.

Two innocent lies +
one ignorant smile =
more idiots die.

Spin, wheel of time, spin!
Thread the needle eye when
you see the island.
Let the tiger swim.
Hey chief,
you're giving me grief and
I'll take it. Please,
just leave me –

how can you say that you're stable
when everyone thinks you're an a-hole?
Let's lay our cards on the table:
straight, full house, or flush,
I see you and raise you clouds of dust.

In an instant, the
pain resolves like a pin prick.
Your face dissolves in the distance...
still, this fix is in:
you have to inhale a few dicks to win.

You think you're impervious?
Tell me, I'm just curious:
you ever took a Turing test?

I know you're doing things that matter:
curing cancer and
dating an exotic dancer.

But ditch the pervy termagant.
Rent a slab at Burning Man
and a black conversion van.

Throw some blurry photographs
in a garment bag – listen, jack,
fuck the 99%!
They're all holograms.

Don't trust them!
The horsemen have muted their trumpets!
The apocalypse was a success!
There's only one way to get justice
and that's SUCK DICK!

credits

from The Comedy Album, released October 28, 2016

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Kleenex Girl Wonder New York, New York

A prolific songwriter, a cracking tight independent indie rock band for live entertainment, and a fine art parody magazine about what computers think about human thoughts about their fine art

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