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I Love New York (Magazine)

from The Comedy Album by Kleenex Girl Wonder

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    "The Comedy Album" is the 13th and most epic Kleenex Girl Wonder record.

    26 songs, covering a variety of genres, styles, and production methods, written and recorded over the course of two years, and now available on two slabs of strikingly coloured vinyl (some 'Comedy Blue,' some 'Bazooka Joke Pink').

    Featuring guest production from Max Tundra, Saskrotch, and The Hood Internet, plus the usual suspects of Graham Smith, Matt LeMay and Thayer McClanahan.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Poor Thing!, Losel Vila, Let it buffer. Forever, BLP, Ponyoak 20th Anniversary Edition, Past Blasts, cocolopez, White Lacuna, and 17 more. , and , .

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Ohhhhh they're sleeping in the streets!
They‘re kicking off the sheets – what a cruel, cruel slumber!
Whoaa they keep sneaking up on me
with the inscrutability of a sea cucumber!

Believe you me, I'm a resident of Queens,
so my sentiments won't mean that much to you,
but between the sea and the feverish heat of my dreams,
you'll see. There's a magic in me and it

grows with everything I eat – the artisanal meat and
the cream and the duck fat too! And I know
I should grant you amnesty for your sanctimonious speech,
but I can't, you're just such bad news.

Go. No one needs you, least of all me.
I couldn't be arsed to read you even when you were free
with your teakettle whine and your Emmental cheese...
Let it breathe. It's irrelevant. Can it be that
I love New York


No roads where you're going, no ghosts when you're dead.
But there's hope in just knowing it'll go to your head
when the quotes are all glowing, the holes are all drilled,
and the rows you are hoeing are hoe-rower-field.

Yo, bro, you're getting too old to be drawing Game of Thrones
in the margins of your notes. Listen, just to let you know,
mister, trust is what you owe. Our projection doesn't show
how much dust is in the bowl.

SoHo when it's snowing. The Cloisters in the sun.
YOLO, and no, you're never too old to die young.
Hobos in their clothing, and you in your coat!
A lowlander gloating: “You're missing the boat.”

Just blow town, throw me down to the wolves!
Howl like an owl, beat the ground with your hooves.
If it moves, give it space and its due.
If it's due, fidget, pace, make a face, and admit it's true:




Fuck it, I love New York Magazine.


from The Comedy Album, released October 28, 2016


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Kleenex Girl Wonder New York, New York

A prolific songwriter, a cracking tight independent indie rock band for live entertainment, and a fine art parody magazine about what computers think about human thoughts about their fine art

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